How We Lie

The conditioned path

I have been reading a book and it has been a nice journey alongside some other tools I have been using recently.

It talks about radical honesty.

How does that feel?

I believe we all feel as though we are honest. But are we really?

Culturally we are conditioned to lie, especially to ourselves and this causes so much internal conflict and stress as to show up in the body as illness, disease and other stresses and life issues

Let's explore a little.

Do you remember how it all started? Your life? You were perfect!

And if you can’t remember being perfect then maybe think of a little baby that you know or just visualise a baby.

Notice its joy and curiosity, the innocence of its playfulness and purity. See the perfection of its features and the softness of his skin. Notice its potential and its curiosity.

This is all of us. We are all perfect in the beginning, but our experiences create a filter and this is how we see and feel the World as we grow. We learn how to respond by the experiences we have and learn by the way we see others respond and react. Then we create a picture of who we are and what we do in certain circumstances.

We decide this is how we do things and so we stay. In a pattern.

But the truth of who we really are is underneath all of that.

Our bodies become a picture of what is happening inside. We experience tightness, tension and irritation, all sorts of feelings in the body that feel uncomfortable and we say “It’s likely I have just sat funny, its the weather, I’ve never been able to feel relaxed or to sleep” and other similar explanations.

We continue to tell ourselves that it’s the external world that is causing the issue and never even question the vessel our thoughts and experiences live in.

We try to lie to our true nature, what lives inside of us. We also lie to others. Whenever we are asked “How are you?” the standard answer comes pouring out. “I’m fine” Whilst inside you may be feeling stressed, angry or disconnected. We are conditioned to never tell the truth of how we are feeling. It's just not done in polite and “normal” society.

“We all lie like hell. It wears us out. It is the major source of all human stress. Lying kills people.” - Brad Blanton

It isn’t anyone's fault, it's just the sea of conditioning we live in that says, “We don’t do it that way” and the fear of telling the truth keeps everything locked in.

So what have been your life experiences and what did they teach you?

What lies have you been able to tell yourself?

Is your body telling you to live differently?

Notice how your body feels and write it all down. Notice how the words relate to your feelings in general. Emotionally and mentally.

The body shows us what we have hidden in our subconscious. It holds the energy of all our feelings and emotions, just think of how ignoring or lying about how we truly feel affects our body in the long term

For example, after my Father died I felt unable to express my grief. The reasons don’t really matter but I continued to lie to myself and I became very depressed, then angry and triggered at the slightest thing. I felt so heavy and full up with emotions and tears that I couldn’t find a way to let go of. When I finally decided to seek help my life began to flow again.

I was honest with myself that I was grieving and I wasn't sure how long it would last. I was honest that some days I just didn’t know how I was going to feel and allowed myself some compassion for not being the one to hold it all together all the time.

The acceptance and the truth allows for transformation. It allows space inside for new feelings and emotions and energy.

Is it easy to do this? Often the fear of telling the truth is worse than actually doing it.

“We learn to "act nice" and deny that we are angry, and we make ourselves sick in the process of denial. This is one of the main areas in which something we can't tell the truth about ruins our lives.” - Brad Blanton

Every physical response tells us something about the way we hide our feelings and emotions, but we have the power to change.

We have the power to tell the truth, especially to ourselves.

How do we begin to unravel? How do we learn to tell the truth and stop the lies that cause us pain?

Try to be gentle with ourselves.

Try to have to seek support.

Try to want to be open to life.

Try to allow life to flow

It's a process of becoming that pure potential again. Of experiencing some lightness without the weight of everything we are holding on to. It's a gentle uncovering and witnessing of all we have buried within.

A return to truth.