Working with the body...
Over the years I have learned to let go of the idea that I need to be fixed in any way.
This is down to my own ride on the wellness route and experience.
Thinking back and noticing the challenges, when I tried to get well, my thoughts were always around pushing, overriding, trying harder, doing better and beating myself up when I couldn’t and burned out completely.
These cycles left me feeling like a complete failure. That my body wasn’t enough, that I couldn’t cope like others and was in the end left me feeling more broken and lost than ever.
It stopped me trusting myself and I didn’t feel strong or safe in my body at all.
Inevitably this constant striving took it’s toll.
I became the unworthy workaholic, overworked, totally stressed, emotionally drained but also unable to express how I felt, because that would mean I had truly failed and let everyone down.
The perfectionist struggle was absolutely real.
I was exhausted and very likely hitting periods of depression that I simply didn’t recognise until much later. I had huge issues with anxiety but thought this was ‘normal for me’ and so cracked on.
My body was on a wipe out but I pushed it harder trying to exercise. I obviously needed to socialise at the weekend, despite really wanting to curl up in a ball and hide because that’s what successful, strong people do.
I used alcohol to cover the anxiety that just bred deeper and deeper layers of anxiety. Exercise to lose weight and purge the effects of the weekends splurge, but mostly to beat myself up with.
I was utterly disconnected from my body, but especially my own needs.
The reason I don’t have any illness now, that I am a happier, healthier and more confident version of myself is because my body told me finally to stop.
It put me on my arse long enough for me to listen and hard.
At that point in my life, I was working in healthcare in a pressured job. I was paranoid, anxious and angry.
Frazzled, was the word I used to describe how I felt and looked. I had reached a point of no return, life simply had to change.
I took some of the tools I had picked up along my way to find some balance, peace and calm. I researched food and how this was affecting my illness. I focused on lowering stress, inflammation in all parts of my life.
I stopped punishing myself and allowed my body to tell me what it needed. And slowly, gradually my body started to find its way back to balance.
This was a steady and progressive process. I learned a great deal, especially how to love and nourish my body, mind and Soul.
Life changed. It wasn’t always easy but it was absolutely necessary. The truth is, it took a while to get here. Lots of learning, unlearning, deconditioning from the mainstream advice and finding my own way.
The biggest part of that process was asking for what I needed, feeling strong and empowered enough to make the right decisions for me.
Working with the natural flow and energy of the body is how I live life now and how I work with my clients.
I would not and could not have it any other way.
Over the years I have learned to let go of the idea that I need to be fixed in any way.
This is down to my own ride on the wellness route and experience.
Thinking back and noticing the challenges, when I tried to get well, my thoughts were always around pushing, overriding, trying harder, doing better and beating myself up when I couldn’t and burned out completely.
These cycles left me feeling like a complete failure. That my body wasn’t enough, that I couldn’t cope like others and in the end left me feeling more broken and lost than ever.
It stopped me trusting myself and I didn’t feel strong or safe in my body at all.
Inevitably this constant striving took it’s toll.
I became the unworthy workaholic, overworked, totally stressed, emotionally drained but also unable to express how I felt, because that would mean I had truly failed and let everyone down.
The perfectionist struggle was absolutely real.
I was exhausted and very likely hitting periods of depression that I simply didn’t recognise until much later. I had huge issues with anxiety but thought this was ‘normal for me’ and so cracked on.
My body was on a wipe out but I pushed it harder trying to exercise. I obviously needed to socialise at the weekend, despite really wanting to curl up in a ball and hide, because that’s what successful, strong people do.
I used alcohol to cover the anxiety that just bred deeper and deeper layers of anxiety. Exercise to lose weight and purge the effects of the weekends splurge, but mostly to beat myself up with.
I was utterly disconnected from my body, but especially my own needs.
The reason I don’t have any illness now, that I am a happier, healthier and more confident version of myself is because my body told me finally, to stop.
It put me on my arse long enough for me to listen and hard.
At that point in my life, I was working in healthcare in a pressured job. I was paranoid, anxious and angry.
Frazzled, was the word I used to describe how I felt and looked. I had reached a point of no return, life simply had to change.
I took some of the tools I had picked up along my way to find some balance, peace and calm. I researched food and how this was affecting my illness. I focused on lowering stress and inflammation in all parts of my life.
I stopped punishing myself and allowed my body to tell me what it needed. And slowly, gradually my body started to find its way back to balance.
This was a steady and progressive process. I learned a great deal, especially how to love and nourish my body, mind and Soul.
Life changed. It wasn’t always easy but it was absolutely necessary. The truth is, it took a while to get here. Lots of learning, unlearning, deconditioning from the mainstream advice and finding my own way.
The biggest part of that process was asking for what I needed, feeling strong and empowered enough to make the right decisions for me.
Working with the natural flow and energy of the body is how I live life now and how I work with my clients.
I would not and could not have it any other way.