The good in the bad...
“We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Events in life can be incredibly difficult and still be okay.
Certain things in life take a different turn, there are twists in the road that we didn't expect.
Nobody really knows what is going to happen.
Nobody really knows how it's going to turn out.
The plan isn't turning out as it should or how we thought it would.
There is a liminal space, a void.
When we experience unexpected change in that way, when events force us in a different direction. When we are feeling all of it, going through all the emotions, and still not totally freaking out. That is okay.
We often think we should be drawn into the drama and the chaos, to be deeply in it at every moment.
But what does that do?
Does it help us cope?
Not really.
Change, movement in energy, things that weren't supposed to be.
Being able to accept them, to let go of expectations. To go with it and to understand that sometimes it's simply just life and nature doing as it should and putting everything in it's place.
Knowing that sometimes we won't understand the purpose, the reason or the why until much later. That with reflection we will see the whole picture.
So often in my life the fear of wanting, longing for the end result, the "right" result has caused me to push, to prod and provoke an answer or a resolution to the void. Only to make the journey longer and more arduous than ever.
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” —Confucius
On reflection I can see why I reacted this way. Fear of the liminal space led to attempts to control an outcome. But it got me nowhere. and fast.
I see this in my client work.
Once we have been seen in our fear, heard and understood, it becomes easier to see the good in the bad and vice versa. We can learn to accept and respond appropriately.
Learning to work with the flow of life in this way has been my path.
To learn to be emotionally responsive rather than reactive builds trust and resilience in our own self and we become stronger.
We allow others to live their own path too without judgement or attachment.
That can only be a good thing.
"I’ve been told my liminal space is like the dark of the grave. But I think of it as the dark from the other end of life entirely. The dark of everything ahead, not everything behind." - John Scalzi