I began my working life as a Hairdresser. The decision to follow this particular career path was based on nothing real at all.
Careers advice showed me a completely different option. Office work, such as book keeping and filing was the advice based on my “skills” at the tender age of 15.
I had decided long before that office work wasn’t for me. Watching my talented shorthand typist Mother furiously working at the keys revealed that sitting still for hours on end typing words that meant nothing to me would bring me no joy at all.
I wanted to follow a creative path. The subjects I loved were English, Physical Education and Religious Education. Subjects that allowed me to explore my mind, body and Soul.
But what job do you do based on these and perhaps Geography? Not much. I simply sussed that I may be able to use some creative energy as a Hairdresser and also it allowed me to move all day and the decision was made!
School had shown me a limited expectation of myself and life in general. None of the subjects seemed to have any purpose in “real” life. The one I was living.
I wanted a purpose to raise me out of my bed in the morning. I wanted to learn new things to have my brain activated and my Soul set on fire. I wanted to find joy in what I did and make it a part of my life.
Obviously Hairdressing wasn’t really for me, although I did make a reasonable living out of it for quite some time. But I seemed to be on a constant quest to find this “purpose”.
I was very often called driven and that may be so. I had this flickering light inside that kept guiding me forward slowly and gently. I often went through turmoil but this little light just kept burning brightly.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
Much of my life has been about work. Growing up with West Cumbrian, hard working Parents, we always had jobs to do and there was an emphasis on “pulling your weight” and the message was always “the World doesn't owe you any favours” and I am very grateful for that message although, on occasion, I probably took it to extremes.
This driving force and searching for my purpose has often come at the detriment to other parts of my life. Relationships in particular. In some ways it’s been a way to keep life at bay, an avoidance and a protection.
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it” - Buddha
When I began working on the wards for the NHS as a Therapy Technician, certain aspects of my working life came together and made sense. I knew I loved working with people and when you meet someone at their lowest and they leave feeling lighter, brighter and more hopeful about life it brings this sense of joy and purpose I am speaking about. It wasn’t always pretty, but those are stories for another day. Maybe a book!
Now, what I do in my own business is very similar. Witnessing people at points in their life when things feel overwhelming, even despairing and allowing them space to feel, understand and then to grow and hopefully flourish again is something that feels absolutely right.
I set an intention a few years ago, to make the work I do part of my life, as seamless as I could possibly manage. To move from life to work and back again. To love what I do so much that it all just flowed and fell as it should. I am getting there slowly and gently, with time, patience and love for myself.
For those of you who this story resonates with. I want you to never forget hat flickering light inside, it’s always there. Whether you believe it or not. And everyday it feels hard. Remind yourself to return to that light.
Whatever your purpose. Whatever your passion. Whatever your circumstance.
Keep the fire burning.