Resistance is futile...
“What you resist persists.” - Carl Jung
This quote is based upon his research on what is known as the shadow.
He found that patients who resisted aspects of themselves would find the symptoms becoming more persistent or make them even worse. Showing the constant resistance to aspects of self could fracture the psyche. His focus was to have the person be whole, rather than fragmented pieces or perfect.
Becoming whole is healing.
Whole means a sense of being sound, being able to function well as the person you are inside. It includes being able to pursue dreams and goals and fulfil your purpose. Discovering what these things mean for you and why.
Becoming whole is about becoming more of our authentic self not breaking bits off because they don’t fit the world around us. I believe this is what is making us feel stuck, frustrated, angry, sad, ill, repressed and depressed.
So what are we resisting and why?
Most of us learned at an early age that feeling and expressing our emotions wasn’t acceptable. We may also have been shamed and blamed and conditioned to hide parts of ourselves to fit in.
As such when we become adults most of us have poor coping mechanisms and we often don’t feel able to express how we feel safely. Our bodies and minds end up full of negative self talk and internal patterning that shows up as illness, fatigue and depression.
Maybe as a child you were called stupid. It’s horrible and you are angry but can’t show it. You don’t want to feel it, and become shameful about it, you hide it away. As an adult, because of this belief and the feelings and emotions that come with it, you might have patterns of striving to be perfect. Or you might have dreams and aspirations that you never fulfil or even start, chronic procrastination. You run from this internal belief and it’s exhausting
The more you resist, the more the pain persists.
Maybe the exhaustion shows up in your body as health issues such as depression or persistent fatigue, life may be trying to slow you down to listen internally but the drive to be perfect is too strong. Inevitably the striving makes things worse and builds a deeper feeling of being a failure and stupid.
Maybe the procrastination creates a sense of frustration. Feelings of bitterness or anger and thoughts of “why can’t I do or achieve what everyone else does? We might feel bad at life and feel like a victim or maybe the internalised anger causes inflammation in the body, showing up as gut issues, skin irritations and even autoimmune disease.
The resistance is hiding, denying and covering up what we see as bad parts of us or as Jung called it the shadow, is the root of our emotional discomfort, negative patterns and sense of shame about who we really are. Warts and all.
The wholeness and the healing comes from embracing the “stupid” and all the other parts we are trying to ignore.
It’s hard to see and accept what feels ‘bad’ but human nature is dualistic if you are one thing then you are the other. Acceptance of these parts we see as bad is where the healing comes from.
We can be cruel and kind. Domestic and wild. Difficult and easy. Dangerous and safe. Dark and light.
Getting into feeling it all can be uncomfortable and can take some practice and guidance. This was definitely true for me.
Being seen for all we are is important and very much part of the work I offer.
Integral Eye Movement Therapy helps us to release the past difficult experiences and begin to let go of the negative self beliefs. Using the body and emotions as our guide to the root cause of our suffering is the next level in returning to wholeness.
What are you resisting?
Where do you feel it?
How is it showing up in your life?