“Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” ― Brené Brown
How does that quote hit you? I meet so many people that want to help others, especially those who come for Reiki training and as I tell those students, we can't help people from the same hole they are in.
My steps towards supporting others began the same way. I realised then how bad I was at receiving anything.
Gifts, kind words, love even.
If we reach for help and support, are we able to receive it? I mean really receive it?
Are we willing to allow the flow of love and support and joy in?
We can receive all the love, kindness and therapy we ask for and afford but if, deep down, we feel unworthy of receiving this support and inevitably the change fit brings for our lives then, what's it worth?
Humans are cooperative by nature and we rely upon other people for survival. It builds in us a sense of gratitude and reciprocity.
Most people are better at giving than they are at receiving. They might say "Oh you shouldn't have!" They might even ask you to return it to save your money or to be quiet when complimenting them.
I can remember desperately searching the shops before Christmas for an ex-partner. I was so proud of my purchase but when he opened it I was crestfallen at the response. He hated it and made sure I knew! It was awful!
It's complex. Some of us didn't receive what we needed when we were young. Maybe we didn't even know it was ok to ask. Sometimes in our own need to give we simply cannot receive or can't see how we push it away.
When searching to research this writing I found this:
The Parable of the Flood
A man was trapped in his house during a flood. He began praying to God to rescue him. He had a vision in his head of God’s hand reaching down from heaven and lifting him to safety. The water started to rise in his house. His neighbour urged him to leave and offered him a ride to safety. The man yelled back, “I am waiting for God to save me.” The neighbour drove off in his pick-up truck.
The man continued to pray and hold on to his vision. As the water began rising in his house, he had to climb up to the roof. A boat came by with some people heading for safe ground. They yelled at the man to grab a rope they were ready to throw and take him to safety. He told them that he was waiting for God to save him. They shook their heads and moved on.
The man continued to pray, believing with all his heart that he would be saved by God. The flood waters continued to rise. A helicopter flew by and a voice came over a loudspeaker offering to lower a ladder and take him off the roof. The man waved the helicopter away, shouting back that he was waiting for God to save him. The helicopter left. The flooding water came over the roof and caught him up and swept him away. He drowned.
When he reached heaven and asked, “God, why did you not save me? I believed in you with all my heart. Why did you let me drown?” God replied, “I sent you a pick-up truck, a boat and a helicopter and you refused all of them. What else could I possibly do for you?”
An interesting story. When we are in the hole it's hard to see that things might be being offered to us and we simply can't see it. We block the flow of reciprocity, joy, love and abundance.
How good are you at receiving?
Do you feel worthy of being "given" to?
What stops you from receiving?
I'll leave you with this quote:
“And there’s also ‘To him that hath shall be given.’ After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give." ― C.S. Lewis