“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” - Paulo Coelho
Confidence is belief in yourself. The conviction that you have the ability to meet life's challenges and to overcome obstacles. It's based in a realistic sense of your abilities and feeling secure in that knowledge.
Confidence is not an innate or fixed characteristic, it can be acquired and improved over time and some life events can shake that conviction. Anxiety may take hold if you are plagued by self-doubt and you may begin to question your ability. Putting yourself into different situations and becoming accustomed to situations you may fear allows confidence to grow and flourish and build a stronger sense of self belief.
The knowing that nothing truly bad will happen even though you may fear it and continually practicing this with other different situations that will allow this growth and belief. Continuing to set and meet goals that stretch your limits a little more each time to support this.
But what if during this experience of growth and building you find you keep meeting the same issues and emotional triggers?
In my own life I definitely came up against this time and time again.
Underlying my longing and need for growth was a deeply embedded belief that I couldn't do what others did. I wasn't as clever, deserving or worthy of the things other people experienced or had. My Heart and Soul longed for this sense of stability but each time I tried, the "imposter syndrome" began, I would question myself and hide away again. Each time becoming more depleted and knocked, affirming the beliefs even further.
It wasn't only in my attempts to build a business but within my personal life too. "I am not enough" to deserve x,y,z. I had worked on this issue with numerous modalities. All "told" me the same thing "you are worthy and deserving" but still the same feeling came around.
I had to deal with the root of the issue.
Feelings of unworthiness can stem from childhood experiences, past rejection or shame. The things we experience colour the lens we see the world through and very much how we see and talk to ourselves.
I had a daily dose of self criticism and nobody else's voice could be heard over that.
Over the last three years, there has been immense growth in this area of my life. How I value myself and my own needs has levelled up and with it, my life circumstances.
New connected relationships.
Huge business growth
A stronger, more stable sense of self
Allowing my voice and my skills to heard and seen
Trust in my abilities to face situations with less fear and anxiety.
Physically, emotionally, mentally and Spiritually. A more grounded, stronger and more aware person has emerged and I like her. A LOT
What supported this?
Acceptance. That I could no longer keep trying to break free by not dealing with the deep rooted issues that held me back from a life I wanted to live.
Understanding. Knowing this could be changed and being gentle with myself while I set goals and tested my abilities.
Support. I sought out support that I felt dealt with the issues at a deep rooted place. The basis of release came with Integral Eye Movement Therapy. I found the support of good bodywork specialists to help me release patterning in my body. Working and studying emotional anatomy and Root Cause Practice with the wonderful Healing Point.
This process of removing layers of emotional memory, acceptance that I was learning different ways to function in the World, being understanding and caring for myself in the simplest ways. A good meal, a quiet coffee, a slow walk. It all supported my process and helped me build a stronger sense of confidence in myself.
This is the sense of building I have spoken of before. We can't build on sand and so clearing the clutter and beginning from a clearer space helps us nourish what we want to grow.
Does this resonate with you?
Are you your own harshest critic?
Does constant self questioning and "imposter syndrome" plague your life?
I have been working hard in the background with some clients who want more for their small business and for their life.
There is a life you want to live ready for you to grasp it.