“You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling. "Tell me why? "I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.” - Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
A small nod to Christmas too in this week's Journal.
The choices we make weave the life we create, this is my belief anyway, and it was also my path.
For so long I never wanted to move or to make choices, especially those that may upset others or the ones that would take me from my prison of “safety”
It happened in my marriage. On many occasions I could have walked away but the “what if’s” always stood in my way.
What if I can’t manage?
What if I will be lonely?
What if the choice to leave is harder than the choice to stay?
Round and round I went, then as is usual, the decision was taken from me and we finally went our separate ways.
So many times I have sat not choosing anything and in effect that is a choice in itself.
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” - Theodore Roosevelt
It kept me powerless, I felt life just unfolded without me and I was the victim at the end of it all.
Within my marriage it kept me stuck in a life that was not only hurting me but others too. I was living a lie and it was no good. Internally, I was screaming for freedom but choosing to stay trapped. I was simply scared of the choice, the difficult decision, of telling the truth. My truth.
Since that time I have had to make bigger choices, ones that scared me but inevitably altered my life for the better, even when it seemed they were for the worse. I’ve had to take risks that I simply would never have chosen before.
We are rapidly heading into a New Year and after a year of deep transformation and healing for me and many others I feel more grounded than ever in my decision making, even when it's difficult.
As a growing business the trust in my own convictions, being able to discern what is absolutely right for me and saying no to what isn’t working or aligned is the most important thing to me for 2024.
It is Winter Solstice today and the still point where we can sit and listen to our gut, our intuition and make some definitive choices for our future.
Where are you holding on because the choices seem too difficult?
Where are you limiting yourself by accepting the outcome no matter what?
Is the cycle of people pleasing still playing out for you over and over?
What are the outcomes of never making the choice in 1, 3, 5 or even 20 years?
If so I invite you to drop a question deeply into your belly and notice the reactions you feel.
Even if fear is present, it may not be a bad thing. Fear and excitement can feel very similar.
Where feels tight when a question is asked?
Where feels light?
Sending you stillness on this Winter Solstice and I’ll leave you with this small quote that has helped me make difficult decisions in the past.
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I. I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost