“My life didn't please me, so I created my life.” - Coco Chanel
I met a friend for a walk this week. Life had been so hectic and full of change for us both it had seemed like forever. Each time we have met over the last two years it has been the same.
Both of us have let go of our marriages and the sense of our traditional career or occupation being the main source of income.
Her life has changed so quickly it would make your head spin but she is more herself. More of who she longed to be and more accepting of life unfolding than ever before. And me too.
We talked of our previous lives of attempting to control and how that worked for us. "Not at all!" was the cry.
It was lovely to talk over the immense shifts in our lives. My old marital home is being sold and that will will be the last of the connection to my "old life" as such. It feels strange but with a sense of completion.
When I look back on photographs and Facebook memories, I hardly even recognise the pictures. Underneath the smiles I can see what is going on for her and it isn't easy to witness.
“Chaos is what we've lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.” - Terence McKenna
I often think would I have had the last few years any other way? Would I have chosen if I wasn't pushed just a little. Not even hindsight can answer me that question, but I wouldn't change the way I live now despite its twists and turns.
My life is richer and more creative than I ever thought possible, even just 5 years ago. There is a sense of building something for myself. learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and honouring a need to develop better resilience for whatever life throws.
Looking outwardly at the World at large, things are going to get bumpy. We haven't even scratched the surface of the changes that are to come and so this feels totally aligned with who I am, where I want to go and how my skills and knowledge can support others.
In previous years I would have felt helpless and withdrawn. It would have shown up in all sorts of ways but especially in my physical health as it had done so often before.
Change is often not easy, but the discomfort we feel in our lives in whatever sense. physical, mental or emotional is often asking us something.
Are we happy?
Are we living a "safe" life?
Are we holding on or trying to control situations to avoid the inevitable?
Are we scared of being judged for the decisions we make or for choosing ourselves?
Over this next few months, try to embrace the change that is calling you.